HOW I LEARNED WHEN TO STAND UP AND WHEN TO SHUT UP
+ When to go for it
All of this throat chakra chat in the #HumbleMeditationChallenge has reeeaaallly got me thinking about the balance between passiveness, assertiveness and aggression.
I'm totes the one that speaks up...always...sometimes to a fault. It really upsets me when I see people not standing up for themselves and sometimes I even step in...Not always a good idea...
I've gotten so much better at managing this balance because I've learned a set of ground rules when it comes to assertiveness, that serve me well.
Here they are:
Always assume everyone is doing their best
There are always two sides to every story and people are not always operating 100% as their most bad-ass self, c'est la vie.
Always assume that everyone is just doing their best! We come from different background, families, and upbringings so we can't expect everyone to fully jive on the same ideals and be in a peachy mood 24/7 (I know I'm not).
Acceptance leads to compassion!
Get permission + speak with love
If you feel the need to jump in for someone or give them advice, get their okay first. A simple "Do you mind if I share my perspective on this" goes a LONG way.
Sometimes this requires a sit-down talk even though it might be a little uncomfortable. It's better to approach a situation with love and concern rather than "should-ing" all over someone.
Remember, friction creates fire, so approaching a situation from your heart in a calm way (although difficult if you are the "firey" type like me) always turns out the best.
Set boundaries and love yourself
It is so important to have rules for how will and will not be treated AND to respect the same rules that other's have.
If you have boundaries set on how you want to be spoke to and treated, it's way easier to assume other people want the same respect and you can show way more compassion (which is EXACTLY what this world needs right now).
Be assertive with yourself and your goals
Not only should you be assertive in situations that involve standing up to other people, you also have to stand up to your dreams.
Going after what you really want in life is the only way to really be happy and get into the flow so don't hold yourself back because you are being too passive, and don't get so aggressive that you stomp all over people.
Treat your dreams like you would your best friend's. Would you tell them to hold back because of their fears or would you tell them to just start going for it?
Here's to being assertive, loving yourself and showing yourself and others compassion on the daily!