How to be comfortable with vulnerability

Have you ever had that dream that you are in public with no pants on? That my friend is true vulnerability (no matter how cute your butt is).

It's a pretty freaky feeling. 

Putting yourself out there emotionally or in business can be equally terrifying. 

What will people think of me?
Will people like me?
Do I look okay?
Am I communicating clearly?

All of these fears are totally normal, but you need to lovingly tell them to hit the road.

My #1 tip for success in relationships and in business/career is to GET COMFORTABLE WITH VULNERABILITY.

Here are some tips on how to ease your way into not giving a f*ck.

Understand your fear behind the fear

Being "out there" is not usually the core fear. It can range from fear of embarrassment, to fear of being outcasted, to fear of outshining your peers, to fear of failing and many more in between. 

Once you have discovered what your real fear is, take a look at where that is repeated in other area of your life. This awareness will make it obvious that fears are just BS that pop up repeatedly and don't really mean anything. 

Know that you might not be loved by everyone (+ hear about my first "hate-mail")

The rule of thumb is that 1/3 people will like you, 1/3 people will not even care about you and unfortunately 1/3 people will dislike you.

That sounds pretty bleak but let's dig a bit deeper.

The 1/3 that don't really care either way, may actually eventually fall into one of the other 2 categories. 

The 1/3 that don't like you
obviously have their own sh*t to deal with and it actually has nothing to do with you! Woohoo!

When you look at it is that way it's not too bad. Also, even if people majorly dislike you, that can be turned around too. I like to use Justin Bieber as an example because I am officially a Belieber. 

I had someone make a comment on my Facebook ad (I am being highly dramatic by calling it "hate-mail") saying "Ugh...this is so mainstream". At first I was embarrassed and questioning my entire life, but that only lasted abut 3 second before I actually started to laugh. 

This personal clearly has some deep seeded fears of being mainstream and probably has some identity battles going on. That's not my sh*t, it's hers.  

I decided to keep the comment up rather than deleting at and replied by saying "Yes, meditation really is for everyone!" Always lead with kindness and maybe she will start meditating and be one of those 1/3 haters that turns into a 1/3 lover. 

Put yourself out there - Just do it already

I have to give a bit of tough love on this one, but I promise you that JUST EFFIN' DOING IT is the only way to get past your fears. 

Plan it out if you have to. If you fear putting your business out there on social media, create a social media plan. If you fear having a vulnerable conversation with someone, write out some bullet points about what you want to say. Having a plan will put you at ease. 

Be comfortable asking for help and guidance

This is a bit of a catch 22 because sometimes the act of asking for help can be what makes you feel even more vulnerable.

Your fears of vulnerability are holding you back and asking for help is just asking for a different perspective.

Even I used to see it as a weakness but it's honestly the bravest thing you can do because you are taking a giant leap, trusting your ideas/feelings and pushing past some huge fears!

If I never asked for help, I would never have started my business, met some amazing people, helped a ton of amazing women and learned all of the stuff I am sharing with you in my blog posts! 

Most people never do this. Will you?

xo Amber-Lee

PS: I am putting my new website pages "out there" for everyone to see! I want to know what you think of my 8 and Week programs. I really hope you are in the 1/3 of people that like it and if not I love you anyways.

I only have 2 spots this month in my 8 week program and the 10 week is fully sold out temporarily (but we can still get you enrolled to start later) so if you are ready to ask for help, push your fears aside and act fast. Check out my programs here.